Greetings proud donutcrats. Dis Phineous. I’m doing important internashunal bizness here in New York, but not as important as stumping for my fellow MSOB granulate Fibbs. I even found a bery nice stump.
Dis is a bery important election. During my time in New York, I hab met fellow rodents who have neber eaten a donut. Pizza? Yes. But dey hab neber known the smile dat only a donut can gib you.
America is falling behind other countries in the competitive bizness of donut making. Remember dat old commercial wif the man who said, “Time to make the donuts?” (OK, dat commercial was before my time, but dad showed it to me on YouTube). Now what is America’s most famous donut store known for? Coffee!
Dis can not stand. Fibbs has the motivation and bizness skill to make American great donut makers again. Wif Fibbs in charge, he will put people to work and more donuts, means a happier America. We’ll become a key exporter of donuts, sharing donut goodness wif the world. And aliems.
America needs change.
America needs donuts.
America needs Fibbs.
Now I’ll get off my stump. It’s a long way down. A little help here?